Blessing instead of courtship.'Congratulations on your wedding, ****.'






In a large mirror stands a man in a white tailcoat looking at us. It was supposed to be a happy day, but he was staring at me with a very languid expression on his face.
　In the short time it took me to do so, a loud sigh escaped from the man's mouth...his own mouth, in fact.
From that day onwards, I didn't have much of a romantic feeling for myself. Maybe I didn't want to think about anything. Hence, the voices and glances from those around me began to annoy me.
'...... huh.'
　Another sigh spills out of my mouth and falls at my feet.
　Don't worry, it will be fine. That's what I tell myself. When this is over, I'll be free. We've agreed to live separately and we don't want children. We will only tell our families that we are married, and if either of us has a girlfriend, we will divorce without telling them. If only today, if only this ceremony is over, then I can stay alone in a nice hotel, take a shower and get a good night's sleep. With that as my only hope, I have to lie to my family and invited guests and get through today.
　As I was racking my brain with dark thoughts, a discreet knocking sounded in the room.
　Was it already time to go, while I was wondering You return your expression and simply reply, 'Come in'. After a slightly odd pause, you hear the door open.
　The man sees the person through the mirror, his face changes from a sulk, his eyes widen and he gulps.
'Sa, n......'
　The young man in the suit, who slowly closed the door behind him, was undoubtedly a childhood friend who had parted company with him several years ago when he moved out, although their facial expressions and heights were somewhat different.
＝＝＝
"...... Um, um, it's been a while... Hiro"
　After a few seconds of silence, that young man, Sunny, opened his mouth. Before I knew it, he was getting closer to me and was waving a small hand in front of his own face, perhaps to confirm his consciousness.
'......... why are you here'
It was the only word that finally came out of his mouth.
'Oh... come to think of it, I forgot to reply to your invitation... it's probably better if you don't come after all...'
　He looks away slightly, puts his hand over his mouth and starts mumbling to himself.
In the meantime, I was still putting together what I wanted to say in my head, but when the word "no..." spilled out of my mouth, it was like a muddy stream, overflowing with all the things I had been thinking about and wanted to say, but hadn't been able to say.
'Why, why didn't you call me all these years Where have you been How have you been since then What about the wounds on your head and eyes Have they healed properly Is school... are your studies okay Why, why..."

Why don't you ask me for help"

　When she spat out that much, her vision distorted and she realised that her cheeks were wet. Sunny smiled a little sadly.
'I figured your mum would have given you my contact details, so I thought you wouldn't need to hear from me.'
　Indeed, his mother was able to tell us where Sunny had moved to. However, Sunny did not message or call me, and I concluded that he did not want to see me and had cut off all contact until now.
'...you've made me hate the news and newspapers. ...... I've always been scared that your name would be in it. If it was... then I would have lost someone I cared about again..."

'I know.'

Sunny interrupts in a slightly shaky voice.
'Well, I didn't contact her partly because I felt like I couldn't face her, but more than that, I felt like I needed to be reminded.'
'Because I always fail to say something important. I always fail to say what's important to me, and I always hold on to it and hide it. I wanted to fix that."
　The effort is evident in the way she spins out her words, even if they are in broken chunks, while looking down.
　The sight of him reminded me vividly of the expressions and gestures he had made when he was still a child before we lost contact with him, and the heavy, dark feelings and doubts I had just had melted away like caramel.
'...... Well, you've worked hard. Must have been tiring even getting here. Thank you so much for coming."
　I wiped my cheeks and hugged Sunny, and he also put his hands behind my back, albeit fearfully. This made the emotion stand out more and I unintentionally hugged him tighter.
The height difference was such that Sunny's head was right where her mouth was. When I breathed in, the delicious smell of his hair tickled my nostrils. It smells like the sun, just like the old days. The hand on his back began to tremble and it gradually began to beat against his back.
　I loosened my arms to hold him a little and he slipped out of my arms and backwards as if he was slipping through. His face was bright red and he was breathing a little hard.
It's... a bit... come on..."
　Sunny smiles a slightly drawn smile, mutters this and catches her breath. Her complexion and breathing returned to normal faster than she had imagined, as if she had more strength than she used to have.
　Then he coughs deliberately and turns to look at me with a serious face and makes eye contact with me. I felt a bit of loneliness and nervousness in her pitch-black eyes.
'...I have a favour to ask you... um...'
There, he clammed up, took a deep breath, looked at me again, and continued with a determined expression.

I want you to... kiss me."



　* * *


───I want you to kiss me.
　When I was told this, I didn't immediately understand what it meant and froze for a few tens of seconds with my face as it was.
In the meantime, Sunny was staring at us with a serious face, but then she noticed something, said "Oh" and started to ramble on and explain.
'Oh, I don't mean it in a weird way. It's just, you know, as a friend Like... I probably shouldn't do that to people too much from now on, so if you don't want to, that's fine, I'm just saying...'
　At first it was only the ears, but it gradually spread, and now her face, as well as her neck and the tips of her fingers, were stained red. I can hear her whispering again, "I should have stopped", as if she had already started to regret it.
　I hug him again and drop my lips on his forehead.
'...... you don't have to think about that. I can make this happen anytime you want, as many times as you want. ...Do you want more"
'Yes, no, this is enough. Thank you so much."
　I truly love the young man in front of me who puts his hand on his forehead, rubs it there and turns his face away.
Can I do you one more favour"
Of course, anything I can do to help."
I tell him that, and he looks a little embarrassed, a little sad, and then he says.
'Just close your eyes for a moment.'
When I closed my eyes as I was told, I could hear the sound of Sunny's breathing better, probably because I was more focused on my ears.
But that's it. I was thinking about what I was going to do, but after a while nothing happened, not a sound, not even a sign that Sunny had moved. I wondered, and when I tried to open my eyes a little, I heard a voice say, 'Um.

'...... sorry, could you bend over a bit more'
'Huh Oh...'

　Puzzled, she does as he says and gets down on her midriff....Perhaps you'll kiss me to thank me for what I just saidI remember that Sunny has always been rather reluctant to use such methods of communication. I think that might be a good development, but on the other hand, I have mixed feelings when I think of her casually kissing and hugging people she doesn't know.
　While I am thinking about this, there is silence again. But this time, unlike earlier, there was immediate movement.



　He takes one step closer to us,I gasp at the thought of what is about to happen.

　His breath on my lips,I swallowed with fresh spit, fantasising about what would happen next.


But that illusion vanished the next moment.
　The presence that would have been in front of you a moment ago disappears and is replaced by a handshake.
　The first time I saw her, I was a little surprised and defensive because I hadn't imagined it, but she must have sensed that and squeezed me, wrapping her arms around me with both hands. After doing so, I felt another touch on my hands.
　A dry but soft and warm feeling. I'm not sure what it was, but it was a feeling I'd touched somewhere before, and something I'd always wanted to touch.
　And while he is savouring the sensation, his hand is pressed against his own lips.

──What

　I opened my eyes and saw Sunny's face in front of me, smiling sadly. Her eyes were moist and there were bite marks on her lower lip.
What was that Before I can ask that, Sunny takes a couple of steps back.

'Congratulations on your wedding, ****.'

and walked out of the room.

　He stares at the closed door and is stunned for a minute, but gradually understands what has been done to him and his face begins to burn.
　Various emotions run through my chest. I almost laugh and cover my mouth with my hand in haste.
　Maybe it was simply because I was presented with a congratulatory gift, or because I hadn't been called by my real name in a long time, or no, none of the above. I didn't have to think about it anymore to know why.
　And today, I have one more thing to do. I've just now got an errand that requires me to contact a certain someone as soon as the stupid farce that follows is over.
　I'm now looking forward to seeing what tone of voice he'll use when he hears from me. I am sure that whatever his response is, it will be the best response for me.
　With this fantasy in mind, she kissed herself at the base of the ring finger of her left hand, which she had just felt softly.


* * *


　――Why can't I always say what's important

　A young man in a suit was watching the changing landscape from the first seat at the back of the bus. His eyes were bright red and swollen, and his cheeks were equally red and swollen. The cuffs of his suit were also wet enough to change colour.
　Eventually, he leans against the window with a tired expression and traces his dry lips with his fingers.
　Tears well up again as she recalls the feel of his hands and the expression on his face.


　――I was really going to tell you I liked you.

　――I was going to kiss you properly.


　Tears well up like a flood due to my own pettiness and embarrassment.He thought he had made an effort, but realised it was utterly pointless, which again turned into tears.
Eventually, the bus driver announces that the next stop is the last stop, and the one remaining young man gets off, rubbing his eyes. The sea breeze hits him and his cheeks burn and tingle.

'I... Maybe I should have apologised at the end.'

　The young man mutters this and walks on. Eventually, he realised that he had no money for the return bus because he had got on the bus without thinking.
But I thought that was just as well.

　The only regret I had was whether I had laughed properly at the end.

...... Oh, I'm sorry, Hiro. I'm sure you're already...


You may never be able to read a newspaper again."