To the days I spent loving you...It all happened so fast.

I don’t remember what we argued over anymore.
Was it something big or was it over something so trivial I don’t remember. Sigh

When I try to think back it hurts so much. Was it me It probably was, wasn’t it…

Before I knew it my eyes became blurred over and the tears wouldn’t stop. I rolled over in my bed with one arm over my face while I fished for a nearby plushie and held it tightly.

Three days had passed since.

It was a school holiday so I didn’t have to worry so much about school itself… But I still had unit training, lessons and some idol work over the break. I also returned home to help my parents at the grocers. It wasn’t so bad… At least it wasn’t at the start of it…

Sigh…I want to die…So depressing…

It was supposed to be a happy break with Fushimi-senpai where I could get even closer to him… And now…
Uuuu…. I want to see him… I want to talk to him again…
But I can’t….. What can I say…What can I do I’ll probably just mess things up again…

Before I knew it another day went by. And another day went by.

I tried not to let it show. After all I don’t want to be a burden to everyone. At the start if anyone tried to pry I gave them a smile but I think that just scared them even more…

They were all asking “Are you ok Midori; Who’s threatening you; Let me know and I can blackmail them; Where are you hiding the real Midori”

Then Chiaki and Kanata-senpai patted my head sometimes too. At very random times too Mitsuru also gave me a rare limited chara bread that he went “dash~dash~” in the morning to cheer me up as well before I left for home… I felt a bit more motivated knowing that they all cared so much for me.

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On this particular day there was a unit photo shooting so everyone Ryusetai met at the venue and everything went pretty smoothly.

Sigh…if only things were back to normal…I just want to be held again in the warmth of his arms…

While we headed back, a familiar sight caught my eye walking out of an opened doorway ahead. The colour ivory. Light blue vest and tailcoat. Without a doubt it’s fine. One of the Big Three. And the unit where Fushimi-senpai was in. He should probably be here too…

Chiaki went ahead and greeted Eichi and with the both chatting away for a short while before being excused. Everyone greeted each other as we walked past. And finally Fushimi-senpai…

He looked as beautiful as ever. I almost called out to him as I normally would with my arms half raised. But I was then sharply reminded of our current situation. And I quickly stopped myself. How silly am I I thought to myself as I chuckled darkly.

I still managed to push out a quiet hello to him.

“Good day Takamine-sama” He gave a curt look but avoided meeting my eyes.

Tetora and Shinobu both looked back at me with concerned looks.

“It’s ok guys… I’ll be just fine…” I had to say something to break the stale silence.

“Don’t forget we’re here for you buddy.”

“T-That’s right de gozaru We will be here for you Midori-kun”

“Oh What’s this I hear Your fellow heroes of justice are all here for you Takamine HAHAHA Group hug time”

“Ohnononono you don’t need t-” Before I could finish Chiaki gathers everyone together into a great big hug. No one could escape from it and I don’t think anyone could be pried out from the hug either. It was so embarrassing… I wanted to die on the spot…Everyone around us was looking without a doubt…

But I admit for just a moment it seemed like things would be ok…just a bit…a teeny bit…

Later that night I decided to gather all my courage and send a message to Fushimi-senpai. It had been quiet for far too long. I don’t know anymore and I’m probably not thinking straight but I think I should say something…

Or…should I not Should I Should I not The anxiety starts to kick in.

What if we break up on bad terms…What if he wants to leave me Am I asking for too much

Ahhh I don't know anymore…
——————————————————————————————
l Hello Fushimi senpai
l I am sorry for anything that has happened the past while
l …but I hope you are doing well… It was nice to see you
l again today I hope l the shooting went smoothly l for you guys ૮ >ﻌ< ა
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Sent 20.34pm

I did it… I sent something to him…Without even knowing it…my hands already magically did the work of writing without the use of my brain. Funny how the world works.

My mind begins to wander. What if he ignores the message or maybe he blocked all of my contacts already

What do I do…

Just as I was thinking over all the possible 1 million outcomes that could have happened, the message becomes “Read”.

Oh god he saw it…What to do, what to do

——————————————————————————————
Good evening Takamine-sama, l
Apologies for the delayed response. l
Would you possibly be free this coming Saturday afternoon l
——————————————————————————————
Sent 21.28pm

——————————————————————————————
l Yes I will be free ૮ >ﻌ< ა
l Shall we meet at our usual place
——————————————————————————————
Sent 21.29pm

——————————————————————————————
Yes, I shall look forward to seeing you there at 4pm. l
Sweet dreams Takamine-sama. l
——————————————————————————————
Sent 21.30pm

——————————————————————————————
l Sweet dreams to you as well Fushimi-senpai I can’t wait to see
l you then Looking forward ૮ >ﻌ< ა
——————————————————————————————
Sent 21.31pm


It feels like a massive weight was lifted…and my stone heart started pumping life through my veins again. I felt alive.

At least it seems like Fushimi-senpai is responsive… but the slightest of unsettling fear clawed from within.

Whatever could this be about Perhaps I was overthinking it, but the recent events said otherwise. I knew that I couldn't afford to show up empty handed at the least. That would look so, so bad.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————
Today was already Thursday. Saturday was not very far off. And tomorrow, is my off day.

I couldn’t sleep much because I was mulling over what to get Fushimi-senpai…

I could get him a plushie…but hmm… something practical would be best for him, wouldn’t it… And if it’s something he uses daily he might think about me too…maybe…hehe…I’m a genius…

After carefully rummaging through all of the shops in the neighbourhood, I came across multiple items that he would definitely love I just know it

A new cookbook for baking both savoury and sweets alike [maybe we can spend some time baking together too]; a pocket-sized waterproof notebook and a handy foldable eco bag that was simple to the eye but had a small cat motif on the bottom corner. That ought to help with his occasional shopping errands too

Happy with my successful purchases [I may or may not have snagged more mascot merch as well]. I headed home with the intention of wrapping up the gifts and continued to push aside the festering dark thoughts.

Sooner than later, it was the long-awaited day. Saturday.

I headed out much earlier than our proposed meeting time. I couldn’t wait to see him after all this time. I felt really hopeful that things would return to the way it once was…

Our usual spot is in the park nearby the shopping arcade where our grocers was. There is an obscure pathway which leads to a small clearing with a large tree that overlooks the area. There is a picnic bench there as well Very few local people know this spot as well, so it’s mostly visited by me and Fushimi-senpai when we want some peace and quiet.

I arrived at the spot at exactly 3pm and spent the time watching the scenery. And knowing senpai, he is bound to show up 30 minutes earlier than our promised time. Eventually, I hear someone approaching, and without a doubt it was my beloved

“Hehe as expected. You came early”
“Yes, you should expect as such from me…but I hope I didn’t keep you for too long…It seems like you have been waiting for quite a while now…” He looks concerned.
“Haha don’t worry I haven’t been here for too long, I just got here a few minutes ago myself [a lie] I couldn’t wait to see you again…”
“Hm…is that so”
He walks towards me with grace in every step.
Why is my senpai so beautiful Uuuu… I want to cry so badly.

I anticipate his arrival and we meet eyes. His, glimmering of an otherworldly amethyst…I can see myself drowning in it.

We sat down at the bench and talked, catching up on the latest antics happening in both fine and Ryusetai. Work, life, any really good food we had recently. Everything. It was like we never had anything happening between us. Just like any other normal day we shared in this safe haven.

As the sun began to set in the far horizon, we began to speak less and less.

But that’s ok I’m more than happy just to spend quality time with him after all We are both respect our own personal and work commitments as well.

Suddenly Fushimi-senpai rose from his seat and gestured me to follow him to the large tree.

As I watched his back walking towards the tree, I looked vividly back on that day we shared our very first kiss. It was at this very spot. And today, again, we did just that.

“I’m sorry Takamine-sama…I…just wanted to let you know that I adore you so. In this life and in the next, no matter where and when…”

“And me too Fushimi-senpai No matter what, I will always love you”

However, Fushimi-senpai did not wear the expression I was hoping to see.

He looked so sad and distant. I didn’t like it one bit…Was I thinking wrong

“…I want to propose that we seperate. This is for both my sake…and for yours as well Takamine-sama… though it pains me to say as such.”

I couldn’t feel it but my legs gave out and I was looking up at my beloved Fushimi-senpai, who then kneeled down to join me in the soft, warm grass.

“B-but this cannot be…” Fushimi-senpai extends his hands that clasped mine tenderly as he always would have.

“Then why..”

“I-I cannot be the one to be with you… to hold your hands as such and… to forever grow old with you and watch the skies turn from dawn to dusk together”

“But why Why can’t we be… Did someone say something to you Fushimi-senpai Or is it …because of…me…” Tears begin to blind my vision.

For just a split moment he seemed so…translucent Am I seeing things

Was he always this ethereal looking before

I begin to blubber, forcing out my words despite that growing pain in my throat. “And I honestly can’t remember…I’m sorry… I swear to all the mascots I have in my room that I’m not lying… Is it because of the argument we had recently Did I offend you in any way If I did, I swear I did not mean anything by it…but please let me know and I’ll never…ever do it again.”

“No, no, Takamine-sama. It was never you.” He gently cups my face. His smile so warm and loving as he would always. But his hands were so, so utterly cold. “It could never be because you. Please believe me.”

Why were they so icy cold again…

I placed my warm hand over his and placed a light peck. He flinches for a quick moment but softens.

“Fufu… this is one of the reasons I shall forever endear you so, to the ends of time itself.”

“So…please don’t forget…that I will always be by your side…and that I hold you dear no matter what…” He places his forehead against mine and with a chaste kiss to the lips, he motions for me to rest on his legs. And I did just that. It was so comfortable and I felt like I could die so happily right here and now with no regrets…

“Midori…” I look up at Fushimi-senpai in awe as he spoke my first name so softly. He smiles.

“Please don’t forget, you have yet a place to return to don’t you Everyone are waiting so eagerly for you to wake up… they must be so worried about you.”

“Eh… what are you talking about senpai” And with the words he spoke. I could finally feel myself giving in to that lingering darkness that began to envelop both my mind and heart.

And as I did, I felt that last warmth of the tear that fell from his eyes and of his gentle and ever loving embrace.

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I open my eyes to an unfamiliar place. My head is so groggy too, it feels like I woke up from a long nap or something…but something doesn’t seem right…

This place seems to be a hospital… But…why am I here

What happened

Wasn’t I with xxxxxxx-xxxxxx

Wait xxxxxxx-xxxxxx

With a raspy voice, I asked the nearby nurse who arrived to attend me.

xxxxxxx-xxxxxx Where is xxxxxxx-xxxxxx

“I’m sorry…Don’t you remember”

“xxxxxxx xxxx…is…no…longer with us…”

“Eh-”