A desperate cry for help on loving myselfThose urges creeps up to me like vines slowly growing up on my veins. My entire body yearns for it. I must refuse to give in, I'm stronger than that.

Ironic isn't it On the outside I play as a flirty easy going person who's trying his best at everything, sure some of them are right, I do try my best but sometimes I feel like I want to disappear from this world over the most minor inconveniences. I did nothing wrong yet I want to say sorry, I want it to all stop, what did I do wrong I don't know. Please dear me please just love me. Be kind to me, be kind to yourself. Its not hard to forgive yourself. You are so loved and appreciated, don't be so hard on yourself.

Validation, expectations and standards are made by images of others. You are you, your own standards shouldn't be awfully unreachable. You did so well so please don't die. I cried so much, I suffer internally so much to the point every breath feels like inhaling sulfur. I'm tired of suffering. Those medicine are working so well so stop dwelling on what comfort that sadness and depression give you. Seek comfort in happiness instead.

Maybe happiness seems too foreign to you because you rarely experience true happiness yourself. Trust me, you can trust yourself. Happiness is beautiful, it's warm and kind. The comfort of sadness may give you a familiar corner to sit on yet you'll feel so lonely and dark.

Your depression may be a part of you that you can never get rid of and its okay, embrace that part of you and step into the warmth


It's easy to close of yourself to protect yourself, to protect the version of yourself. The less confident self. The vulnerable self. Its harder to open to others deeply to the deeper part of yourself.

You've been accompanied by so many voices and figures in your mind, now they're all gone, your mind is only you and you only. The void that you've developed in your mind is all gone. Your source of comfort, madness and suffering is all gone. Now find that within deep in your heart and you can find the same comfort again.


It's okay to feel happy, it's okay to knock down your walls, it's okay to feel sad. Just please, for me and I and myself, try to open up and find comfort in loving yourself