My love letter to deathI pour out my pills, 6 left. I do not care if I get sedated or killed, it's all over, I am so empty and tired. Who am I and what am I, it doesn't matter anymore. How people think of me, a fool, a jester, an idiot, it all makes me laugh. I simply do not care anymore if I live or die or make myself looking absolutely disgusting. In the end, it shouldn't matter.

A desperate cry for help on loving myself (0)I want to die so badly, I wish I can simply put it in an artistic way but there's no fancy sugar coating way of just saying how much i dislike existence yet I have a fighting drive for live. I want to live yet living means to suffer, I deeply love myself but how can I love myself when I'm tearing myself down over nothing. Death, what does it mean Will I keep suffering in hell or will I just stop existing. What does it mean to exist, my own soul gives life to this flesh, this sick and tired barely functioning brain is giving it personality. Life is beautiful. Keep going. Don't give in.

A desperate cry for help on loving myself IIA desperate cry for help on loving myself II

I'm nothing but a shell of what was once filled with happiness. I have felt happiness and have felt my fair shair of love in my life yet now I'm uncertain of the unknown path ahead, that love and happiness wavered and turned to uncertainty.

What am I going to do with my life I'm not sure. Am I fine with living a life without structure People say live life with structure and time. Follow what others do, even so I felt confused. This concept is nothing but a construct to let people be slaves to society. Yet why do I feel lost without a structure that people have placed on me.

A desperate cry for help on loving myselfThose urges creeps up to me like vines slowly growing up on my veins. My entire body yearns for it. I must refuse to give in, I'm stronger than that.

Ironic isn't it On the outside I play as a flirty easy going person who's trying his best at everything, sure some of them are right, I do try my best but sometimes I feel like I want to disappear from this world over the most minor inconveniences. I did nothing wrong yet I want to say sorry, I want it to all stop, what did I do wrong I don't know. Please dear me please just love me. Be kind to me, be kind to yourself. Its not hard to forgive yourself. You are so loved and appreciated, don't be so hard on yourself.

Eleven He felt what pain and suffering since he was 11. His expectations on himself looked higher, not one person felt what his pain is like when he was just a kid who played games and chasing around the butterflies, yet deep inside he was slowly breaking inside.

He rose to the average ground competing with everyone he just want to make his parents proud and all he did to do well. He changed nothing, he hated it all, he hate this school, he hate the walls, he hate everyone yet he hated himself.